What's the Matter with Kids Today?
...A deliberately pseudo-condescending, pseudo-crabby, and pseudo-provocative headline. Actually, perhaps the answer is "nothing, really", or "no more than ever". At least, I'm not sure there's anything wrong with kids today than there was when I was a kid.
When I use the word "kid" here, I don't actually mean "kids" per se. Actually, I mean young people from--say--fifteenish to 25-ish. So I use the word kid here pseudo-condescendingly. It's easiest to type just three characters. Please substitute your own preferred word as (if) you read on.
I'm thinking about this because in the past few monts, since I've started paying attention to blogs, I've looked at quite a few, and I've observed some things that startle me. This isn't really news, I know, but "young people" (whatever) and their friends today seem to have a different relationship to public conversation than I had with my friends at the same age. Certainly, the personal issues are mostly similar--love, lost love, betrayal, worries about the future, problems with money, nihilistic attitudes. There are some issues that young people face today that I never had to face (fortunately). One that comes to mind is that 20-year-olds are going off to war, and many 20-year-olds must worry about whether they or their friends are going to be next.
I look at personal blogs and see people (friends, former friends, enemies, strangers) talking about the most personal things--sometimes in really unfriendly and uncivil ways. My immediate reaction is that people are being undignified, shouting all their worst for the whole world to hear (or read, actually)--like going on the Jerry Springer show and getting in a cat fight. I suppose I would have dealt with people on a more 1-on-1 basis--either in person, or in writing (using that old-fashioned technology, pen and paper). Sometimes I might have made the mistake of talking to a third party about it, and that would usually end up making thngs much worse--especially if I was saying bad things about the person in question. So my natural impression is that saying (possibly nasty) things in a public place for everyone to hear would be even worse than that. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we should all put everything we have on our minds--even the most personal--out in front of the whole world for everyone else to see. I gues I don't know.
When I write things in a public place like this, I think my intention is to write things that might conceivably be interesting to people who've never met me, and perhaps even useful, in some real way. I might not always succeed at that, but that's my intention. But I don't really want to talk about anyone who wouldn't want to be talked about, and I certainly wouldn't want to bitch about someone. It would make me feel dirty. For the most part, I think I wouldn't want to publicize my angst (of which I have planty) to the whole world. Stangers who might be interested in my angst would be interested mostly for its entertainment value ("ha-ha, wow, what a loser!"). Some of my friends might be interested in my problems sometimes, and sometimes not. Some of my friends aren't interested in my deepest inner dramas, except maybe sometimes, at the right time, in the right setting, over the right number of beers or whatever.
When I was (I think) 22, a couple close friends were really unkind to me--kicked me out the house I shared with them for no good reason, when I had no money and nowhere to go, and I had Michelle arriving from across the country, expecting to have a place to stay for a few days while she looked for an apartment for herself. So we had to look for two apartments (we didn't want to live together), with the threat no real home-base to look from if we didn't find anything right away. I set about solving the problem. I don't remember if I told them off--probably not, since that wasn't my way. I probably told them they sucked, as I left. Maybe I complained to a few people. But I wouldn't have made up fliers and stapled them to every telephone pole in town saying "These guys are f***ing a**holes, and someone should kill them!" or whatever. Eventually (after a few years), we patched it up. They apologized, and meant it. We're friends now, 20 years later.
I've had other, more extreme interpersonal conflicts than this one in my lifetime (not many, and not in a long time, fortunately), and I'm glad I never had the opportunity to spew my anger in front of the world about the problems.
Then again, maybe my friends and ex-friends haven't ever done anything truly evil to me. There is that possibility. I guess if your friends did stuff that was evil but not illegal, or illegal but impossible to prove, your only recourse would be to tell the world about it--if only for personal catharsis.
But maybe my reaction to all this merely reveals my lack of understanding of the personal blog as a medium--I don't know. I didn't come of age in the e-world. I'm mostly comfortable in it, but I came of age when there was no such thing as personal computers, let alone the internet.
I'm not actually directing this (is it criticism?) at a particular person here. Though maybe at a particular person's (former?) friends, and to other strangers, I suppose.
When I use the word "kid" here, I don't actually mean "kids" per se. Actually, I mean young people from--say--fifteenish to 25-ish. So I use the word kid here pseudo-condescendingly. It's easiest to type just three characters. Please substitute your own preferred word as (if) you read on.
I'm thinking about this because in the past few monts, since I've started paying attention to blogs, I've looked at quite a few, and I've observed some things that startle me. This isn't really news, I know, but "young people" (whatever) and their friends today seem to have a different relationship to public conversation than I had with my friends at the same age. Certainly, the personal issues are mostly similar--love, lost love, betrayal, worries about the future, problems with money, nihilistic attitudes. There are some issues that young people face today that I never had to face (fortunately). One that comes to mind is that 20-year-olds are going off to war, and many 20-year-olds must worry about whether they or their friends are going to be next.
I look at personal blogs and see people (friends, former friends, enemies, strangers) talking about the most personal things--sometimes in really unfriendly and uncivil ways. My immediate reaction is that people are being undignified, shouting all their worst for the whole world to hear (or read, actually)--like going on the Jerry Springer show and getting in a cat fight. I suppose I would have dealt with people on a more 1-on-1 basis--either in person, or in writing (using that old-fashioned technology, pen and paper). Sometimes I might have made the mistake of talking to a third party about it, and that would usually end up making thngs much worse--especially if I was saying bad things about the person in question. So my natural impression is that saying (possibly nasty) things in a public place for everyone to hear would be even worse than that. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we should all put everything we have on our minds--even the most personal--out in front of the whole world for everyone else to see. I gues I don't know.
When I write things in a public place like this, I think my intention is to write things that might conceivably be interesting to people who've never met me, and perhaps even useful, in some real way. I might not always succeed at that, but that's my intention. But I don't really want to talk about anyone who wouldn't want to be talked about, and I certainly wouldn't want to bitch about someone. It would make me feel dirty. For the most part, I think I wouldn't want to publicize my angst (of which I have planty) to the whole world. Stangers who might be interested in my angst would be interested mostly for its entertainment value ("ha-ha, wow, what a loser!"). Some of my friends might be interested in my problems sometimes, and sometimes not. Some of my friends aren't interested in my deepest inner dramas, except maybe sometimes, at the right time, in the right setting, over the right number of beers or whatever.
When I was (I think) 22, a couple close friends were really unkind to me--kicked me out the house I shared with them for no good reason, when I had no money and nowhere to go, and I had Michelle arriving from across the country, expecting to have a place to stay for a few days while she looked for an apartment for herself. So we had to look for two apartments (we didn't want to live together), with the threat no real home-base to look from if we didn't find anything right away. I set about solving the problem. I don't remember if I told them off--probably not, since that wasn't my way. I probably told them they sucked, as I left. Maybe I complained to a few people. But I wouldn't have made up fliers and stapled them to every telephone pole in town saying "These guys are f***ing a**holes, and someone should kill them!" or whatever. Eventually (after a few years), we patched it up. They apologized, and meant it. We're friends now, 20 years later.
I've had other, more extreme interpersonal conflicts than this one in my lifetime (not many, and not in a long time, fortunately), and I'm glad I never had the opportunity to spew my anger in front of the world about the problems.
Then again, maybe my friends and ex-friends haven't ever done anything truly evil to me. There is that possibility. I guess if your friends did stuff that was evil but not illegal, or illegal but impossible to prove, your only recourse would be to tell the world about it--if only for personal catharsis.
But maybe my reaction to all this merely reveals my lack of understanding of the personal blog as a medium--I don't know. I didn't come of age in the e-world. I'm mostly comfortable in it, but I came of age when there was no such thing as personal computers, let alone the internet.
I'm not actually directing this (is it criticism?) at a particular person here. Though maybe at a particular person's (former?) friends, and to other strangers, I suppose.
posted by John McGreivey at 2:28 PM
2 Comments:
Geez. I thought I was being
NEGATIVE. What's a guy gotta do to get called a jerk?
Oh, wait. I know a few ways. Never mind.
Sometimes people do it for the drama. I don't understand, personally, but some people seem to need conflict in their lives. Crazy kids.
Post a Comment
<< Home